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Self-confidence tips and hints
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Self confidence tip 1
First of all, recognise situations in which you tend to lack self confidence. What it is about these situations that are causing you to doubt yourself? Obviously there will be some circumstances that chip away at your self confidence more than others. What is it that undermines your sense of self worth in certain situations? Is it your appearance, your education, your family, your job, feelings of not having achieved etc. What thoughts go through the back of your mind? When you are more aware of what is underlying your lack of confidence, you are better equipped to finding solutions.
Resolve your issues one small step at a time. Don't try to push yourself way beyond your comfort zone. Each day decide on one small action that you can take to bring you a little bit closer to being the confident person you want to be.
Self confidence tip 2
Understand that you are as good as everyone else. Nobody is 100% perfect in all areas of their life. It's also worth remembering that no-one is completely pleased with their life all of the time. Even people who are apparently super-confident have bad days when they doubt themselves.
Most people you meet are so wrapped up in their own lives, their own problems, their own insecurities that they're unlikely to be focusing 100% on you anyhow. It's also worth reminding yourself that it's who you are on the inside that counts, not what people might see or assume about you. Give people the chance to know the real you.
Self confidence tip 3
Isn't it time you quit trying to be perfect? Why not give yourself a break from trying too hard, to do too much, too well? If you are uncompromising in your quest for perfection, you keep moving your goalposts. Everything has to be done perfectly. Nothing is good enough for you and you can't live up to your own high expectations. Hardly good for your confidence, is it?
If you try too hard, you decrease your chances of success. Trying so hard to be perfect can cause stress. When you are stressed, you don't perform as well as you could. As a result you underachieve and your self confidence plummets. Why not aim to give only 90% of your best? That way you won't get stressed and you'll achieve more than if you'd given 100%.
Self confidence tip 4
Watch your self-talk. Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? Would you verbally shoot down your best friend at the first opportunity? Do that too often and you wouldn't have many friends left. Unfortunately you probably say the most insulting things to yourself. Hearing negative comments day after day is bound to affect your self-esteem. The bad news is that you can't escape your own put-downs. Instead you must learn to speak to yourself as you would to a special friend. Stop insulting yourself and instead give compliments. Praise yourself for your achievements and look forward to the things you haven't yet done.
Self confidence tip 5
It's important for you to keep the company of happy, positive people who boost your confidence. Learn to accept their compliments. Last time someone praised you what was your response? Next time you receive a compliment, acknowledge it.
Self confidence tip 6
Recognise what makes you so special. Ask yourself what positive traits a special friend would see in you. Discover your unique skills, your special attributes and your positive personality traits. Don't allow these things to be buried under a pile of self-doubt or unjustified criticism you've received from other people. Write them down and keep adding to your list. Read your list every day and remind yourself of how special and wonderful you are. You are every bit as good as anyone else.
Self confidence tip 7
Set goals so that you know where you are going. It's very difficult to get to the right place if we don't actually know where it is or what it looks like.
Break down your goals into a series of small steps that are easy to achieve. With each small step that you take, you gain the confidence to move onto the next one. Remember Everest is climbed, not by leaping to the summit in one go, but by taking one step at a time.
Self confidence tip 8
Focus on your successes. Remind yourself of your achievements. There are plenty of them, both small and large. It's just a matter of jogging your memory. Start a journal and every day jot down what you have achieved. You'll be surprised at just how many little things you accomplish within a very short space of time.
Self confidence tip 9
Use your imagination wisely. All too often we tend to focus on what might go wrong, rather than what might go right. How many times have things actually turned out much better than you had expected? Use your imagination to picture everything going well. Doing this tells your subconscious mind that this is what you expect to happen. It will then be on the lookout for ways in which to make these things become reality.
Self confidence tip 10
Do things that make you happy. When you are happy and enjoying what you are doing, do you experience lack of confidence? No! When you are happy lack of confidence is the last thing on your mind.
Self confidence tip11
Be a winner, not a victim. As adults we are fully responsible for how we allow the outside world to affect us. We can't avert natural disasters and external things may be out of our control, but we can choose how we react, what we say, do and think. Taking full responsibility for our thoughts and actions gives us control and enables us to find the best solutions possible. We'll make mistakes of course, but taking responsibility for these mistakes instead of blaming others allows us to learn and move on.
Try these tips to increase your self confidence. If you would like to find out how hypnotherapy and Complete Mind Care Techniques may be able to help you feel better about yourself and overcome your lack of confidence please contact me, Shonagh Paterson, on 01808 521386.
....And remember that you are welcome to come for a free initial consultation, and that your first treatment comes with a guarantee.
Shonagh Paterson (registered hypnotherapist), Stroma, Farr, Inverness, Highland IV2 6XG
(only 4 miles from Inverness)
Specialising in stress management, smoking cessation and the rapid and effective treatment of fears, anxiety, phobias and panic attacks.
If you stay in the Inverness area and would like to find out more about hypnotherapy (clinical hypnosis) please give me a call.
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